Put your lips like this
by missy4eva
Summary: Neji! Kissing as a battle against Lee' 'Tenten, you are going to be my kissie. Deal with it.' Gasp! and what in the world does 'Icha Icha paradise' have to do with it? 'Turn the page dammit' A whole lot a crack. R&R please! -Nejiten oneshot-


**Hi again! Hehe, this is my first one shot, so I hope you guys enjoy! :D eh, I really don't know what else to say. but I hope this is good!**

**Whoo, this is pretty much crackish XD **

**kakashi: you put my favorite series in this story**

**missy: uh huh! I hope you like it**

**kakashi: ...-slowly grins a creepy grin-**

**missy: uh...o.o**

**kakashi: hehe! icha icha icha icha! -skips off to god knows where-**

**missy: ...well! that was a bit odd.**

**kakashi: -over the distance- she does not own!!**

**missy: ^.^'**

**O YEAH XD**

* * *

"YOU DID WHAT?!"

"Yosh, do I have to say it again? I kissed youthful beautiful Sakura-chan!!!"

Hyuga Neji blinked his pearly opal eyes a few times. Tenten ungripped her shuriken and stared at her bloody tan hand and broken weapon.

It's even worse when he says it the second time.

They were currently training until a jubilant Rock Lee came and shouted the news.

"What? Sasuke actually let you?" Neji scoffed.

"I did not bother asking."

Tenten's jaw dropped. Sure, Sasuke and Sakura aren't even dating, but anybody can tell he cares for her more than a teammate, and that he'd torment and torture and throw the remains of the poor guy who hit on her into a pit of fire. And Sakura? Tch. Should she even explain?

And now, Lee comes yelling he _kissed _Sakura. _**KISSED!!**_ She might as well cry and weep and bid farewell to her 'beloved' teammate and get ready for his funeral the next day, Tenten thought while wrapping a bandage around her hand.

She also tried to get the idea of him kissing _before_ her out of her head.

Neji thought the same thing. Lee? Lee? Kissing someone? Picturing their giant thick eyebrow, green spandex wearing teamate with Sakura was a little disturbing. And now Lee has beaten him in something.

And that was kissing.

Hn, no no. His pride couldn't allow that. He's a prodigy and a genius with fantastic shiny beautilicious -he uses Pantene, voluminizer shampoo + conditioner, preventing spilt ends, if you wanted to know- long dark brown hair for christs sake!! A little kiss isn't gonna throw him off.

So why is he twitching disturbingly?

"Lee, if you're trying to boost yourself up, and get more self esteem, we understand-"

"Tenten, I did kiss her! And she youthfully let me!" he blushed a little and had hearts in his eyes.

"On the cheek or lips? The whole shebang?"

"…Lips you guys."

"…"

"And it lasted for 5 youthful seconds."

Neji and Tenten fell down anime style.

And they both cursed their luck.

So it really is true!! I mean Lee, doesn't lie like that. Nope, he really did kiss her.

DANG!

Then Tenten started thinking…egh, no offence to Sakura but she thought Lee could do better. Like Ino?

If it was Neji that announced the news it'd be different, she could understand cause he's Neji for christs sake- eh?!! Wait…Neji kissing somebody?

…She let that sunk in for a few seconds.

Soon her mind raced with images of her killing and cackling at whoever Neji liked.

But does he even have a girl he likes?

"I finally beat you at something Neji-kun, my wonderful youthful eternal rival!"

Neji clenched his fist.

Tenten bit her lip.

Lee smirked. Whoa, that's an interesting sight…

"Not so fast Lee. I don't think you kissed Sakura anyways."

"Neji…"

Lee just smiled pleasantly.

"It is ok if you do not think that…but if you would like to get even…" something flashed across his face.

Neji raised an eyebrow inquiringly.

Tenten widened her eyes. Oh no she thought. He's gonna tell him to kiss someone! She got her game face on and tightened her auburn brown hair that was fashioned with twin buns on her head. Her brown doe eyes narrowed dangerously.

Lee smirked some more.

Neji waited with anticipation.

"If you can do more than what I youthfully accomplished, I lose, and you win on our battle record."

Tenten groaned. "Ugh Lee, did you have to make his ego inflate even more than it already is?"

"Hn." Neji growled at her. She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Anyways your choice Neji." Lee smirked menacingly.

"Lee, stop doing that, you're scaring me."

"Ow Tenten!" Lee rubbed his shoulder.

"Neji smirks! It looks weird when you do it!"

"But I am trying to act like youthful Sasuke-kun! He smirks too!"

"If you're trying to take Sakura's heart, believe me you won't live for tomorrow. Besides, poor Gai-sensai, who will now be his new favorite?" Tenten dramatized her voice.

"…NOOO! Gai-sensai's favorite will only be me!!-insert mock jealousy from his two teammates- Never mind Sakura, I have to please Gai-sensai!!" He had rivers coming out of his eyes.

"Lee, your drenching my weapons!"

"Fine."

Lee and Tenten turned to Neji.

"Eh?" they chorused.

Neji closed his eyes and sighed.

"Don't make me repeat my self."

Lee looked very surprised and Tenten gaped.

"Neji, don't you think this is pointless? I mean kissing as a battle?"

"Hn."

"Tenten. I don't think you should say that cause Neji shall pick you as his youthful guinea pig!!"

Neji and Tenten choked.

"And who decided that?"

"Guinea pig? What guinea pig? What does that mean?"

"Lee..."

"Hello?? Guinea pig?! Would someone tell me what that means?!?!"

"Shut your mouth when you say something ridiculous Lee!"

"YO! Would anybody be kind enough to tell me _what_ the heck is a guinea pig?!"

Tenten stop being too youthfully loud!"

"TELL ME WHAT A GUINEA PIG IS!!!"

"Tenten! Put. The mace. _**Down**_."

"See, Lee, now she is going to terrorize the village."

"I am not a guinea pig, Lee! Well, whatever that means."

"Lee, don't decide on your own!"

"LEE!" they both yelled.

Whoosh…

Wind blew into nothingness.

"Eh? What the…w-where'd he go?"

Birds chirp.

Neji glared. "He left."

Tenten flared. "WHAT?! LEE! GET YOUR GREEN SPANDEXED ASS BACK HERE!!"

Cricket cricket.

Neji gave her a weird look.

"Shuddup."

…

"So eh…what-"

"Tenten, you're gonna have to be my kiss-ie. I don't have time to look for someone. Deal with it. Sit. Now."

"Kiss-ie?"

"It pretty much covers the guinea pig expression."

"Ooh. Well I still don't know what kissie means."

Neji sighed and looked very emotionless.

"You know, I'm the kisser and you're the person who receives it."

"…God, you're weird Neji."

"SIT NOW!"

She widened her eyes.

"Are you ordering me?!? Nobody orders the half Chinese half Japanese weapons mistress OF KONOHA!-"

"You're gonna get a kiss from the sexiest prodigy slash genius Hyuga OF KONOHA. Plus I'll treat you to ice cream and give you a new kunai."

"…2 Scoop cookie dough special?"

He smirked in victory.

"Yes."

"…With fudge poured on top too?"

"Yes."

"…And with sprinkles?"

"Yes…?"

"…Also a little bit of marshmallows?"

"GOD DAMNIT, TENTEN YES!!"

"Don't forget the cherry on top."

"…"

"SAY YES DAMNIT!"

-Insert eye twitching- "Y-yes."

She grinned. "You're on."

He shook his head and sighed. But an amused smiled cracked on his lips.

"So uh, sit."

She glanced down and sat on the tree stump. Neji did the same with the tree stump right next to hers.

Cricket cricket.

"Neji, the crickets are annoying. Make their scene come later."

"Byakugan!"

Poke poke pokedy poke poke.

"Thank you."

"Hn."

"So uh, how do we start?"

Neji and Tenten flushed and stared at their hands.

"I…I don't…know."

"You don't know how to kiss, the great almighty Hyuga?!" Tenten mocked.

"Oi, you don't either." He glared.

"I did not say that I don't know how."

"But you asked me how to."

"I only asked you how to start."

"..."

She wiggled her eyebrows in victory, when the silence meant that Neji couldn't think of a come back.

"But you basically implied that you didn't know. It should automatically mean that you **don't **know. Thus concluding that we're both hopeless."

"Whatever Mr. Science geek."

"…Hn"

"You know, one of these days, Imma have to break your arm so you can stop your girly grunts."

Whoosh smack!

"Ack! Ouchie!" Tenten rubbed her head.

"Hn? Where'd that come from?"

They both looked down and stared at the mysterious item just flew and hit Tenten's poor head.

"Wow…"

"Hn…a book…"

"Hey, isn't that…like 'Icha Icha paradise'?"

"You mean the one that team 7's sensei always reads?"

"Yeah…but why in the world would this just fly and land on my precious head?!"

Neji picked up the book and placed it on his lap. They both studied the cover.

"This one is…make out tactics…"

They stared at each other.

"Hey! Let's use this as a guide!"

...

"Are you sure you don't know how to kiss?" Right after he said it, for some reason he got pissed. If she did knew how to kiss, then who would be the guy that she kissed with? He'd certainly be a dead man.

"Positive. Besieds, this is my first kiss. Sniff, I should be beating you up for taking my first."

"It's my first too, so don't get feisty."

Somehow, the mood suddenly turned mellow and wonderful. And the jealousy all went away.

Laugh out loud.

"But anyways, back to this."

"Do you think its ok?"

"Of course! I mean if Kakashi-sensei reads it, it must be good."

Neji was doubtful, but he knew that Kakashi-sensei was an amazing ninja. So it shouldn't be so bad right?

They have no idea.

"Come on lets open it!" Tenten squealed. She sat right next to Neji on his stump and glanced at the pages.

Flip flip flip flip.

"…" both were silent.

…

"I-is that girl like…you know…-"

"Tenten! Don't say it!"

"But look at it!"

He flushed and all he could do was stare. I mean sure, he's very serious when it comes to training, but he has hormones too. Lots of hormones.

"Uh, Tenten get me a tissue. NOW."

She glanced at him. "Getting a nose bleed huh? Here."

"Hn."

"Why don't I hold the book."

She placed the book on her lap.

"Er, do you think this book is all like that?" Neji sounded weird because his nose was plugged with the tissue.

"…I don't know. Maybe Kakashi-sensei is a pervert. Tsk, I wonder how Naruto and the others handle him."

"Hn." He threw the bloodied tissue away.

Flip flip.

"HOLY MOTHER PICKLES!!"

"TENTEN, CHANGE THE PAGE DAMNIT!"

FlipFlipFlipFlipFlipFlip..

-Ragged breathing-

"…"

"…All I have to say is…_wow_."

Neji nodded, his eyes blood shot.

"…Neji, you're smart. What exactly were they doing?"

"Uh…Tenten, if you hadn't noticed, I'm a little dense in that area."

"YOU FINALLY ADMITED IT!"

He glared at her, and she giggled.

"No, but seriously, what do you think they were doing?"

"Well…I didn't get the picture too much. The background was a kitchen right? And it sorta seemed…they were…cough…on the ground? Maybe they were looking for supplies?"

"Hmmmm…I didn't get the picture either but really Neji, how could they look for supplies when her leg is on his-"

"TENTEN!!"

"I'm sorry!! But it's just so noticeable!!"

"Sigh."

"Ok, ok fine. Let's just hurry and go straight to the make out stuff. It should have the basics on at least how to kiss. Right?"

He sighed. Just how can she say it so casually? He frowned when he felt his cheeks growing hot.

Although he didn't notice the very noticeable blush on her cheeks.

"Ok, page 67…"

Flip flip flip…

…

"Auugh!" they both turned away and covered their eyes pathetically.

"D-did…did that guy just…was he…?"

Neji gulped. "Uh huh." Answering her question.

They both leaned forward with their noses touching the pages, and started to squint.

"Whoa…if you think about it, they look like they'd be flexible."

Neji tilted his head.

"…Do you think they're just training?"

Tenten stared more. "Well…I don't know. I mean look at where his hand is-"

"Tenten!"

"Sorry!"

"Is this really the make out chapter?" Neji was getting frustrated. Mostly at his temperature though.

"Well yeah! Wait, nuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…"

-Slap on the forehead-

"I think, this is the positions one...That must mean that they are training right? Cause what else could positions mean?"

Oh ho. Neji thought of _many_ things.

"H-hn. Just get to the right chapter!"

"Okay Mr. grumpy!"

Flip flip flip.

"Here it is! See, not so bad."

"Hnnn…"

"Okay, let's check some more…" Tenten turned to the next page.

"Eeek!!"

"Go back, go back, go back!!!"

"I'm turning I'm turning I'm turning!"

FLIP!

They sighed in relief at the normal page.

"Wow, I guess this book isn't so good."

He gave her look.

"You just figured that out?"

"Well, hey! You're the one that said 'they were just training'." Tenten mocked his voice.

"Not my fault. They did look flexible."

"Huff."

"Sigh. Just hurry."

"Yosh. This is just regular. Nothing nasty like that I guess."

"Good."

"Okay, it says 'Have your partner in front of you or beside or on your lap or…' other wierd training positions that look hella wrong!! J-just face me Neji."

Neji nodded and shifted his knees facing hers.

She nodded back and kept reading. "Then open your lips as much as you can-"

"You said this wasn't bad!"

"Wait!! I was gonna skip that!!"

"Sigh."

"Okay, let me continue, since I was so _rudely_ interrupted, 'you must pucker your lips -and mash against- your partners. You may hold on to each other or what ever pleases you'…uh…"

"…Hn. And then?"

"'And then, go with the flow. Grope eachother's -!!!"

"TENTEN!!"

"Ewwwwww!! That's just gross dude. Looky!" She shoved the book in front of Neji's face.

Unfortunately his eyes just wandered around the page and caught sight of what Tenten was mentioning.

"I didn't want to see that." He seethed, his neck all red.

"Neji, if we're gonna do this, you have to participate. Come on, be a team player."

He gave her a look. Something about her was just…bizarre. And yet he was intrigued at the same time.

He grumbled. "Just continue. And don't be innaproppiate."

She put a hand over her chest and dropped her jaw in mock anguish.

"Why Neji! I never…!"

He pinched her side.

"EEK!!!" she covered her sensitive side scratched the part where he pinched the skin. "Fine! I'll continue reading!! How rude. Bastard."

"Hn." He smirked.

"Sigh…hm, where was I…oh! 'Kay 'do something cough-remarkable-cough with your l-lips' ….we can skip that Neji! 'And then just go with the flow. Comply to your partners needs and…don't salivate either.' Ugh ew. 'And then they say to…"

"…What?"

She showed the page to him. His eyes followed the words and pictures when his cheeks went pink.

"We definitely won't do that!"

He nodded vigorously.

"Is that it?"

Flip flip.

Tenten glanced over at the other page and the next ones.

FLIP SLAM!

She closed the book and hid it under her hands. She had a very shocked expression.

"Yes! Nothing more!"

Her cheeks were red.

He nodded awkwardly.

"So uh, now that we know, let's start!"

Cricket cricket.

"The crickets came into this scene?!"

"Hn."

"Whatever. Lets just do this."

Neji stared at her.

…

She started back.

"Neji quit acting retarded. Do something!"

"Tenten, I may lose or not lose this challenge. I have pressure."

"But you never back down like this!"

"I never had to kiss someone for a challenge!"

"Well, then come on! If we quit wasting time this'll go a lot faster."

"Fine." He grabbed her shoulders a little roughly but then started leaning.

Tenten watches -with a pink blush- as his face gets even closer with his eyes shut too tightly that makes his face all scrunched up and his lips puckered, slightly opening and then closing like a fish. She cracked up.

He opened his eyes and stared at her annoyingly. "What?"

"Neji, you definitely do not get anything concerning these type of stuff." She giggled more.

"What? Did I close my eyes too soon?"

She stopped laughing, and turned her face serious.

"I don't know."

"Then don't judge."

"I'm not! It's just that your lips were all like-" she did the imitation of him, except she also flapped her arms like a chicken.

She cracked up again.

He glared at her and lightly smacked her arms away.

"Hn. How about you start?"

"Fine! I will."

Neji widened his eyes as Tenten licked her soft pink lips for moisture and puckered them ever so slightly.

"You do it like that?" he murmured indicating her lips.

"…Well, I don't know. Don't you see couples in the village?"

He shook his head.

"You're right Neji. You sure are dense in this area. But then again so am I. At least Sakura says so. And Hinata." She frowned.

"What do you mean?"

She shrugged. "I don't get them. They're a year younger, but all they care about is love, and crushes and all that. Nasties."

Neji nodded in agreement. He could relate. Kiba and Naruto always talk about girls like Sakura or Ino. Or his own cousin. Ew. And Sasuke just talks about Sakura. And for Shikamaru, he's got an older chick. And Shino has even taken a liking to some of the village girls. And Lee. We all know about Sakura. But we're ninjas.

"Anyways…" Tenten slowly leaned forward, her heart going crazy.

Neji smiled at their earlier conversations and leaned forward with out hesitation.

"So do my lips go like this?" he teased as his lips puckered too far.

She grinned. "Put your lips like this…" she gently molded his lips underneath her long fingers. His lips burned under her touch, and his pulse went crazy, he was sure she could hear it.

She then pulled her fingers away and rested them on her lap.

They both gulped.

Still in the process of leaning forward, Neji leaned farther, and finally met his lips with hers. At the burning touch, they both closed their eyes, their skin crimson red.

Tenten clenched her eyes tight and focused on how she was supposed to kiss. Her hands were tightly girpping the hem of her shirt in excitement.

Neji had his hands in fists the same reason Tenten clenched her hands, as he tried to focus chakra in his lips to impress Tenten. He heard her lightly gasp and melted more into the kiss.

As quickly as they started, they pulled back and started at each others lips.

Neji rose his hand up and touched his mouth.

Tenten's heart was beating so fast it scared her.

"Was it good?" he turned his face away in embarrassment.

"Y-yeah…" she kept pinching her wrist.

…

Cricket cricket.

"Why do you guys come now?!?!"

"Tenten, its ok- wait careful! Tenten! Put. The chain. Saw. _**Down**_!!!

"You good for nothing pests!! Fear me!"

VOOOM VOOMVOOM. Crunch.

Tenten smirked in victory.

Neji put a palm on his forehead and sighed then smirked.

"It's about time they learned not to mess with me."

"Hn." He chuckled.

…

"So did you beat Lee?"

"No, he said that I have to do something more than what he did. Or longer. And we just touched lips.

Tenten gave him a wary eye, her cheeks hot and red. "No Neji, I'm not doing anything till I'm married."

He flushed. "N-no! I just meant…!"

He bit his lip in hesitation, but then suddenly grabbed Tenten into his arms and gave her a deep kiss. Her eyes came as wide as saucers. His scent of husky white mint and smooth woody cologne was clashed with her soft scent of wild berries and the smell of her sweet green tea shampoo. His eyes shut in ecstasy and they both moved their lips in the beat of their rapid hearts, having this type of feeling, they've never felt before. Tenten couldn't help but happily hum while Neji was taking over her mouth. He hugged tightly her in his arms and pulled away slowly, his eyes half lidded, cloudy with emotion, and his cheeks burning with a dark shade of pink.

…

"Unn..." Tenten fell back, her face frozen with a creep happy grin, and her whole body stiff in excitement and her heart racing.

He bent over her in confusion.

…

After a few moments of recalling that pure bliss, she became aware of soemthing.

She quickly jumped up- causing Neji to almost break his gorgeous chin- her lips full and moist, and her cheeks hot and red.

"Neji, you win. Go tell Lee." She turned her face away.

He frowned and wondered what got her into that mood. Then It clicked.

He looked down. He used Tenten just to beat Lee. At kissing.

"Tenten-"

"It's ok Neji. Whatever. Find Lee to tell him. But, I…like you. I mean…I ju-…I-I liked kissing you…Just wanted to tell you that. " She put her head down in shame.

He widened his eyes and licked his lips. He thought for a moment. What happened, was different. And it was wonderful.

Tenten...he felt something tug at his heart. That kiss was...amazing.

"Me too."

"Eh?"

"Don't make me say it again." He turned his face away and pouted. His pride still big. "I like you too. And kissing you was enjoyable." His cheeks went red.

"…" she slowly grinned, her brown orbs shining, and sat down next to him.

"You mean it? Really?"

He looked at her in tender way. "Really."

Then took her face into his hands and glanced at her unsuspecting lips. He smirked. She rose an eyebrow.

"Tenten, put _your_ lips like this…" and he kissed her again.

**SOMEWHERE ELSE.**

"Fuzzy-brows! You were right, they did like each other!"

"Of course youthful Naruto-kun!"

"Wow, that was a great plan Lee."

"Yosh! Sakura-chan complimented me!!"

She sweat dropped.

Sasuke glared at him.

"Why did you have to say you kissed Sakura anyways?"

"Because, Sakura-chan is my lovely youthful flower! No offence Sasuke-kun."

"But Lee! You didn't kiss me!"

"Haha, they probably didn't believe you anyway."

SMACK

"Ow! Sakura-chan!"

"Baka! Don't make fun of Lee!"

"Geez, woman. Sasuke-teme and fuzzy brows. Pick!"

BAM BANG BONG

"Ok ok I didn't mean it! SPARE ME!"

"Hello. I would like my book back. "

…

"Kakashi-sensei?!"

"Oh no."

"RUN!!!"

* * *

**:D So there you have it! I hope you guys liked it. **

**Please, leave a review after you read!**

**Reviews are ****my pumpkin pies ****dude. About that, last night for thanksgiving, i didn't even get two pieces of pumpkin pie!! I got so depressed.**

**So please?! ^.^**

**Hehe, anyways see you guys later!**

**kakashi: heh. I was so hot on the last part.**

**missy: -****gives him a weird look- you only got one line.**

**kakashi: exactly my point. **

**missy: er...okay, whatever you say. Icha Icha paradise pervert.**

**kakashi: why, missy. I am not a ****pervert. I just happen to like very mature books. **

**missy: ok. Kakashi, -grins- you continue thinking that! hehe!**

**kakashi: ...that was sarcasm I could tell.**

**Cyas! :D**


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